Prayer, Peace, & God

Shea,

I can’t handle the pain anymore, so yesterday I asked God to take it and handle it for me. It was hard because it felt like I was giving you up somehow. The pain is still with me but maybe over time God will help me heal and all I will be able to remember are the good times we had until I can join you. I know you understand the separation between our worlds and that I cannot continue to suffer so much. I will always feel sadness and loss but that is different than pain. I will always be your mother and that never changes but being with God is our ultimate goal and you have reached that now. I realize now it has been selfish of me to not let you go with God in peace and it must break your heart to watch me suffering. My heart is full knowing you are healthy, happy and at peace. Those are the things that only being with our Lord can provide and I feel the joy of knowing you have attained that now. We will know each other again and I do know you are surrounding me with love with every breath I take. I see you in everything peaceful and beautiful. So go with God now and know I will be okay. I hold you in a sacred place in my heart as always.

Mama

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