Posted by graceofmyheart on February 13, 2013 at 3:15 AM Comments comments (0)
I woke up this morning, just like every morning since you left, and I cry because I remember you are gone. The tears just flow without me even thinking about it. I feel so empty facing another day without you. I feel as though I can’t bear it. But the day goes forward, never a minute without a thought of you. I wonder what Heaven must be like for you now. Are you happy at last? Do you walk beside me throughout my day? Sometimes I feel you close and other times I feel you are so far away.
I never thought our lives would be this way. I never thought of losing you. I thought we would be together until I passed from old age and I would have you beside me saying goodbye. Life shows us it is not fair in so many ways but to lose you was the most unfair of all. Did God feel I was strong enough to handle this loss? I’m not doing a very good job of it. It hurts more each day. Time goes by so slowly that I feel I will never get to Heaven to join you. I look back on the day you passed to God and it is like a nightmare. How could it have happened? I wonder if I did something wrong? I know I must have displeased God for Him to take you so suddenly but that doesn’t seem right somehow. I thought I loved you enough to keep you here with me forever. I think about our time together and I realize I didn’t do everything right. Maybe that is why you are gone. There just has to be an answer to all of this.
The answer can only be that you were loaned to me by God for a little while, 37 years. Those years went by quickly and now I am left without you. God, please help me get through just one more day. That’s all I can ask for. You will be waiting for me and we will be together again. This is what I know and what I pray for. This is just another day without you. Only memories to hold onto to. I love you still and I miss you again today.
Remembering Shea…But someone ELSE TOO misses her!!!